


A Definition of Love that You won't See in Dictionaries

by peter_panda



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek is an idiot, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Lydia is perfection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 00:33:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1074948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peter_panda/pseuds/peter_panda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is never easy.It is never what you expect it to be like.It's never feeling happy under the stars.It is usually sitting on the sofa 3 am in the morning,staring at a blank wall,figuring out you like that particular someone and freaking out of your mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Definition of Love that You won't See in Dictionaries

Love is never easy.It is never what you expect it to be like.It's never feeling happy under the stars.It is usually sitting on the sofa 3 am in the morning,staring at a blank wall,figuring out you like that particular someone and freaking out of your mind.Calling your best friend without giving a damn about how inappropriate the time is,waking them up and yelling at them because you are so goddamn scared and you have no idea what to do next.You want to call and tell every single soul on the planet but at the same time,you don't want a single soul to know.You want to keep it as a secret and forget about it eventually.But then you come to your senses and think you need to tell him.Because it's about him too,right? A tiny bit?

Then you call yourself on your own bullshit because man,that was really miserable.Of course,it is about him too.He deserves to know.Hell,he needs to know.It might be the single most important thing ever to be told.It could be the milestone of his life.

And then again,you make fun of yourself because bullshit,why would you loving someone be the milestone of any life? Why would it matter at all,to begin with? Why should he care? Maybe he is sitting on his own sofa and think about someone else,just in the way you think about him.And that hurts so much,you lost your breath for a couple of minutes.It is hurtful,but it is indeed possible.

Then you hate everyone on the planet because all of them possibly be the person he loves.All of a sudden you want to kill everyone.You want them to stop existing,for no reason else but they might be loved by someone you love.That is crazy,you tell yourself and you are right indeed.You are a crazy asshole.

Why would he even love you?

There are hundreds of possible reasons for it but your brain ignore every single one of them.They seem petty and irrelevant.No.Why would he love you because you smile at him with your special smile? How on the earth he suppose to know you'd die in his place? Why should he care if you look at him sometimes and your heart feels like bursting with just how much you love him? 

It's your problem,not his.

And you decide to keep it to yourself.It is your goddamn business,not anybody else's.

But then he comes to your door in the middle of the night,bleeding and shaking with the effort to keep breathing.And you lose it.All you can manage to do is hold him and take care of him and secretly keep praying,oh lord,please don't let me lose him.Please.

In the end he tries to calm you down.He whispers little nothings,telling you that you are the only medical help he could receive at the moment,that you need to help him out.That he needs you.

Holy hell,he needs you.

And he probably didn't think it like that but your brain is already caught in the loop.I need you.I need you.

He needs you.  
It's easy after that.Mechanical movements,no words.Cleansing wounds,watching them as they began to heal on their own.Petting his arm,barely.Trying to keep yourself calm.It will be alright.

He closes his eyes and looks so innocent,so lonely it hurts all over again.And you can't help but to wonder how it is possible? How could he be so easy to love when he is the most difficult person on this earth?

Is it some kind of a joke? Heaven do have a terrible sense of humor,if it is.

You sit on the edge of the bathtub and stay there all night.Keeping an eye on the wounds,you say to yourself.You are a liar.A filthy filthy liar.You just want to keep looking at him.Without any reason than you just do.

He opens his eyes,breathing weakly but looks better.He timidly checks his wounds,fingers gently trying the new skin on them.He looks satisfied.Then he falls back again.

It looks so easy to just snuggle to his side and close your eyes.But not really.It's impossibly hard.You keep sitting there,your back hurts.

“Stiles?” he manages.

“'m?” Your throat is so dry it hurts.

“Thank you.”

“'problem.” You try to stretch your back.

“I'm sorry.I didn't wanted to create problems for you,i was just around and it seemed so easy to come to you-” he doesn't finish his sentence.And something in you drops.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He closes his eyes again.Does he try to escape too?

“Derek.”

“Hmm?”

“Finish that sentence.”

“I really don't wanna-”

“I really don't care.I want you to.”

“It would cause nothing but more trouble.”

“I like trouble.”

“Stiles.”

“Derek?”

“Why can't you just let it go?”

“Don't you know?” you whisper.You meant it to be teasing but it turns out broken.

“Stiles.” this time it is a sigh,not a warning.

“'m sorry.” You get up as your back protests. “I'm gonna call Isaac.Tell him you are merry and well.Tell him to pick your ass-”

“Stiles-” He tries but you are already out of the bathroom.

************  
“You guys really need to talk.” says Lydia.You try to ignore her,oh boy did you try but she stands right in front of you and she is invincible.

“Lydia-”

“Stiles.Talk.To.Him.”

“It's not me who doesn't know how to finish sentences!” you yell at her like it's her fault.Then you feel terrible,but she doesn't seem offended.

“Derek is hard.” She agrees. “But if you let it go,he will too.”

“And why should i care?” you say. “It's his life.His problem.”

“It's your life too.” She says,nerve wreckingly confident. “I don't think you could be happy without him at this point.Or am i wrong?”

You want to say yes,she is indeed wrong.You want to say you don't give a damn about the glorious creature that is Derek Hale or any of his life choices.You desperately want to lie but she wouldn't believe it so there is no point.

“You're not.” you mumble under your breath and she simply nods.

“Go talk to him.”

*****  
You found him in the middle of the night.It's so dark,no moon no stars.It's idly silent,making you feel like you are suffocating.He is sitting on his sofa,staring at a blank wall.He looks terrified and you want nothing to do but to hold him.

“Stiles?” He looks at you as he looks at a nightmare.

“Sorry.Didn't mean to jump you.”

“I was just-spacing out.” He blushes slightly.

Dammit.He is a fucking murderer with animal features and all.Why should he be so adorable?

“We need to talk.” You say and he tenses.You understand,that sentence never goes anywhere good.

“About what?” he asks hesitantly.

“About the fact that i'm miserably in love with you?” You say with a voice so casual it shocks you.Where the fuck did that come from?

He looks at you,wide gazed,awed.As he is about to scream or call for help or run.You stay there,waiting him to say a word,feeling your limbs get cold.

When he speaks it feels like a century too late.

“You do?” His voice is so hopeless you want to cry. Doesn't he know how much he deserve love?

Then you remember,no he doesn't. Holy shit.He is an idiot.

But so are you.

Then you kiss him.His hands catch you automatically,like he thinks you just stumbled or some shit.But you keep kissing him,hoping it would be enough.

Then he kisses you back with all he has and the worlds spins around you so fast you got nausea.Is it happening,for real?

“Stiles.” he says,stopping for a second.

“Yeah?” You just wanna kiss him some more.

“I do too,you know?”

“You do what?” You say.You understood.You just want him to say it properly.

He looks at your neck as he says the words.I love you.For a second you want him to look you in the eye but then,you know you pushed him far enough.It will happen,eventually.

Then you just lift his chin with ice cold fingers and kiss him again.Because this is the easiest fucking thing in the universe.

You leave when it's almost morning,just seconds after Derek points the watch and reminds you school.

You walk slowly,enjoying the cool morning air.Already dreaming after school,going back to him.

You take your phone out and text Lydia.

I hate it when you are right.

Did you mean always? She sends back.She is cocky,but you love it and she knows it a bit too well.

But damn,it's a wonderful morning and she got every right to be cocky and you are too happy to act like you are annoyed.


End file.
